Affection
by Othiara
Summary: Faith didn't mean to kill him, but she didn't deserve all the blame Buffy had given her. At least the Mayor was nicer to her. He had bought her all those presents. But now Buffy wanted to kill her to save Angel, and Faith isn't sure if she's ready to go.


This place was bigger than any other apartment Faith had ever seen. Its windows were about her size. New belongings filled every space in this beautiful new home. She couldn't believe all of it was hers. The Mayor was so nice to her. He treated her like a daughter. He loved and accepted her like a daughter. His praise meant the world to her. Each word brought a smile to her lips.

That was all she had wanted from Buffy. Praise, acceptance, and a friend. Buffy didn't know what it was like to not have those things. She had as much as she wanted. It was almost disposable. Buffy didn't know a world where love was a scarcity.

Back in Boston, Faith's dad was never around. Who knew where he went every night, but it wasn't home. She often suspected he was cheating or drinking, probably both. When he was around, she tried to stay clear of him. She suspected he had come around less and less because of her mom, who drank all the time. She could even remember nights when she was little when her mom was too drunk to read her Dr. Seuss. They had never praised her. She doubted they had even loved her.

Her first watcher accepted and praised her. She had helped her be the best she could. She often drove Faith home from school. Her mom had long since been too drunk to do that. Before her watcher, Faith had walked to and from school every day, though it was nearly 7 miles. Her watcher had really been there for her. That was why it had hurt so much when Kakistos tortured and killed before her eyes. It had taken so many hours before she stopped screaming. Faith knew she had to skip town after that. It wasn't like she had anything to stick around for. She remembered something her watcher had said about another slayer in Sunnydale. Faith hadn't known where the hell that was, but a quick search on Google Maps fixed that problem. She had purchased some bus tickets and headed on her way.

The idea was that she would make new friends here. She supposed she had; she had just lost them. Had she deserved that? Maybe she had. She had tried to get better. It had been an accident. Buffy had thrown him against the wall. How was Faith supposed to know what he was? Who he was. A human being. With a name. Deputy Mayor Allen Finch. But didn't Buffy deserve some of the blame? She kept calling Faith "killer." Faith didn't think that was what she was. Was it? Angel had locked her up in chains. He had called her "killer" too. She didn't want that word to describe her. He said she was like him. She wasn't like him. He had killed hundreds of people. She had killed one. It had been an accident. Wesley had broken in. He had captured her and told her he was taking her away. To England. She didn't like that idea. So she came back to Sunnydale.

The Mayor was nice to her. She had taken the job opening. Done what he said. She just wanted someone to love her. Some small sign of affection. Was that really so much to ask? He made her feel loved. Buffy and her friends knew about it now.

She wondered how Angel was doing. The poison she had given him would kill him, but it would be slow and painful. She regretted shooting him with that arrow. She regretted it all. Killing the deputy mayor and the volcanologist. Now Angel would be added to that list. She didn't like doing these things, but she couldn't lose what the Mayor gave her in return. She had to earn his praise.

Buffy stood in the doorway. She turned Faith's stereo, which was blasting loud music, off.

"I thought I'd stop by." Faith couldn't stop from smiling. She didn't really know why Buffy was here, but this meant she had made her mad. Buffy deserved that.

"Is he dead yet?" Faith's confidence was at a high point.

"He's not gonna die. Good try, though. 'A' for effort. Your plan?"

"Uh-huh. Mayor got me the poison. Said it was wicked painful."

"There's a cure." Her confidence still didn't waver. She would make sure Buffy didn't get it.

"Damn. What is it?"

"Your blood." Faith paused a second as she considered this. She wouldn't give it up. She didn't owe Buffy anything.

"As justice goes, it's not unpoetic. Don't you think?" Buffy was continuing. Faith didn't think it was poetic. She wouldn't give Buffy anything. She had already given her so much. Buffy had already rejected her.

"You come here to get me? Gonna feed me to Angel?" Buffy nodded, "You know you're not gonna take me alive."

"That's not a problem." Faith was a little surprised. Buffy was such a hypocrite. She said killing was wrong and then she told me she would kill me.

"Well, look at you, all dressed up in big sister's clothes." Faith drifted toward Buffy, and Buffy did the same. It was almost hypnotic.

"You told me I was just like you, Faith. That I was only holding it in."

"You ready to cut loose?"

"Try me."

"Okay then. Give us a kiss."

Buffy punched Faith, which Faith responded to by twirling and backfisting her. The fight was going fast. Both wanted it ended fast, though for different reasons. They were a blur. They were smashing all Faith's presents from the Mayor. Buffy destroyed the TV, and Faith smashed the end table. Faith caught Buffy from behind.

"Not getting tired, are you? I'm just starting to feel it." Buffy slammed Faith into the wall. Faith landed right next to the window. Buffy slammed both of them through the window. Buffy cuffed their hands together.

"Stick around." Faith punched her.

It was hard to work with the restriction, but Faith tried to use it to her advantage. Buffy got the upper hand and pinned Faith down.

"What's the matter? All that killing and you're afraid to die?" Faith knew she was. Death terrified her. She hadn't meant to cause all those deaths. She wished Buffy could know that. But now wasn't the time to show weakness. She strained at the cuff and it snapped. Buffy drew out her dagger. It was one of the presents the Mayor had given her.

"That's mine."

"You're about to get it back." The fight had tired both of them, and they were fighting slower. Their swings were wider than before. They switched the upper hand multiple times.

"Man, I'm gonna miss this..." Faith said her words with sincerity. She hoped she would win, but either way it turned out, after this fight things would change for her.

Buffy stabbed her. With her own knife. She had buried it into her gut all the way to the hilt. It was incredibly painful. Faith could feel a small trickle of blood come from her mouth. She hit Buffy across the roof, winding her.

"You did it..." she said with confusion and a little pride. At least Buffy hadn't chickened out, "You killed me." A truck drove close.

"Still won't help your boy, though," Faith smiled with a certain amount of numbness. She knew what she had to do. "You shoulda been there, Buff. Quite a ride." She threw herself off the roof and into the truck. She felt strangely happy. At least she hadn't given Buffy what she wanted. She had already given Buffy enough, and Buffy hadn't returned the favor. This realization brought a small smile to her lips as she lost consciousness.


End file.
